this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize