I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
