Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize