I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
