so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
