nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
