So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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