I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
