Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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