A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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