Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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