Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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