I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
