I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
