Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
