I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
