Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
