i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
