Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
