I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
