we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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