Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
