belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
