I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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