You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
