All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
