I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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