Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
