Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
