office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
