do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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