I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Less talking, more tequila
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
