Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
