i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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