that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
