these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
