idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize