We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
