Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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