The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
