Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
