I molested 6 butterflies tonight
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
