Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
