Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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