You can't special order awesome
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
