At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
