So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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