Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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