She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
