waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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