Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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