why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
