I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
