I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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