She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
