fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
