can we get nightvision for the apartment?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
