i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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