Midget sex pt 2 tonight
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
