dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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