Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
