last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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